Wordless Wednesday

This is another min pin. I have come to the conclusion they are quite a funny breed of dog.

Living our love song

This weekend the mister and I went out with some amazing friends for a few drinks and to eat and we had a wonderful time! It's very rare that my husband get's to let loose and enjoy himself without the stress of work, so I'm very glad that we got out and enjoyed company with friends.

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever and it's only been a little over a week!

I know the last time I blogged I mentioned I was going to start the Love Dare.

Well it's day 8 and we are still going strong! I feel like already we are exploring parts of our relationship we never knew were there! 

We're taking it one day at a time and just living our love song!

I'm working on a NWU fabric wreath for a friend right now. It keeps me busy during the day while the mister is at work and all the cleaning has already been done and dinner is ready for that night. I really like doing little projects like that. 

We have this dry erase board on our refrigerator and my husband put all the bills that will be needing to be paid while he is gone for his next underway, and he added a little note, "start looking for house".

That's when it really hit me. It's so close to time for us to move out of these apartments! I'm so ready to actually be able to paint my walls, decorate the way I want, and plant flowers!!! 

It all just seems to be falling into place for us ya know? We've started trying again for a baby. 

I've come to terms with the fact that there was a reason for my miscarriage and God has helped me see the "bigger picture".

We already have two crazy but loveable dogs! Now we're getting the house.

God has truly provided for my husband and I. 

He helped him get a promotion in his job and for that we are so thankful! 

It's amazing how things work out. 

I am so blessed beyond belief to have a man as amazing as my husband in my life. 

A New Attitude

So Monday roles around again and I'm ready to sit down and start my entry for today. I was thinking probably a Miscellany Monday... then I get my daily emails. 

There is one from FireproofYourMarriage.com
That is when my post changed. 

This subject has been heavy on my heart, and I know I've said it numerous times on the blog before, but I really want to get closer with God and have him in the center of our marriage. 

There are areas in our marriage that could use guidance.

The mister and I went out to eat yesterday and a song came on the radio that also made me think about things. 

Every time we have an argument or a disagreement I am always the first to just go in the other room and shut him out (typical woman right?) 

This song for some reason just brought tears to my eyes. It was almost as if mister was singing to me because he's always the one who wants to work things out and NEVER gives up.

The name of the song is "LOVE DON'T RUN". 

Starting today I'm going to try The Love Dare once again. 

I tried it with my husband before and got weak.

I know why it failed. I wasn't fully committed.

I WILL follow it through the whole 40 days and I WILL see a lasting and healthy marriage because of it. 

I found a blog who has posted everyday of The Love Dare, so for those of you that don't own the book and want to try it here is where you can find it:

http://www.klove.com/blog/post/2010/01/06/Day-1-of-The-Love-Dare.aspx 

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

A bad case of the "I WANTS"

 Ever since tax money came I've been itching to go shopping.

I want new pillows for our bed, lots of craft supplies, and I would really like some new jeans.

Hubby's already paid off his car, and what's left over is for bills and things, but a girl can dream right? 

I guess I've been living vicariously through Ajax because I got him this really cute rocker tee at Petsmart after his booster shot appointment. 

Def Leppard!

He's ornery, but he sure is cute!

This weekend went by so fast! Friday the mister was exhausted from work so we just vegged out and played video games.

Saturday we took Ajax to his appointment and later that night watched Burlesque and headed over to a cookout with some friends of ours. 

Sunday was a lazy day for me because I wasn't feeling too well, but hubby went to the gun range. 

Once he got home we went and ate at Ruby Tuesday's and rented Megamind! 

 How was yall's weekends?

Photo Challenge.

Day 21- A picture of something you wish you could forget.

There is no entry here. You live and you learn.

I don't wish to forget anything because it has made me who I am today.

Day 22- A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Cooking. 

I get so flustered while doing a kazillion things at once I freak out and can't concentrate. I end up messing at least one thing up.

Day 23- A picture of your favorite book. 

The Divine Series by P.C. Cast

My favorite of them being the first one, "Divine By Mistake".

Day 24-  A picture of something you wish you could change. 

 I wish everything I ever loved about my home state could be brought here for me to enjoy.

Beautiful sunrises, best barbecue I'm ever gonna find, some of the best sweet tea I've ever tasted, Tex-Mex, fresh water catfish, Texas country, Joe T's margaritas, Blue Bell ice cream with my papaw, fried mexican apple pie from El Chico's, seeing red dirt EVERYWHERE I turn. 

Lord, I could go on and on with this list.

I'm homesick... have been for two years, but the number one thing I wish I could change would be the distance between my family and I. Just bring Texas to me.

Day 25- A picture of your day.

Laundry day! 

Folding clothes then starting a new load!

Day 26-  A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Commitment. 

My marriage means everything to me and I pray to God everyday to give me guidance and strength on how to be a better wife. 

When I said my vows to my husband I meant them for the rest of my life, for better or for worse.

I don't believe in divorce, as I was taught growing up that it never is the answer. 

My parents have been happily married for over 30 years and they are perfect role models on what a good lasting marriage should be like.

Day 27- A picture of yourself and a family member.

This is my PaPaw and I.

He calls me newt. Has ever since I can remember. 

I love him so much. Greatest grandpa anyone could ask for. 

Day 28- A picture of something you're afraid of.

I've only dealt with two immediate deaths in my life, one being when I was very young with my grandpa so I didn't quite know how to feel. Yes I was sad, but all the emotions were very confusing. 

The other one being my longtime boyfriend before my husband. The pain I experienced was so horrible at the time. I dread going through that ever again. I can't imagine experiencing it with a close family member now that I'm older. I know it will happen, because death is a part of life, but I'm so afraid of feeling that whole in my heart. 

Day 29- A picture that can always make you smile.

Our first trip up to the Wichita mountains as a couple. I think being up so high must have got to us. 

We had a Meers burger and homemade cobbler while we were there. YUUMM!!! 

Mom snapped this on the way back down the mountain.

I also shaved his head into this mohawk. It was the first time he had asked me to cut his hair (we had just started dating) and he took a trip down to see me in Texas and I really messed up his military cut so he just said, "go ahead and give me a mohawk babe."

Day 30- A picture of someone you miss.

My best frannddd Lauren.

She's in her hometown until her mister gets back from deployment and I miss her dearly.

Can't wait until she gets back so we can make Summer 2011 waayyy better than 2010! 

(which is going to be tough to beat!)

sooo readyyy

It's finally March! I know for a lot of you that means it's one step closer to getting your hubby's back!

I don't know about everyone else, but I am so ready for the weekend.

I plan on posting the majority of my photo challenge on this entry, so be prepared!

My husband has another command football game to attend on Saturday.

Last Saturday he came home and was like, "Babe guess what?" "All the other guys brought their wives so I guess it's not just the guys... so you can come next time to cheer me on!!!"

Well thanks babe now I look like the horrible wife who doesn't want to be social!

The next game is sort of like a picnic/football game so I'm hoping to meet the wives and the guys my husband works with. I've never met most of them. 

He invited Brittney and her hubby from over at

http://navywife24-adayinthelifeofanavywife.blogspot.com/

I just love that girl ya'll! So does my new puppy Ajax. 

My hubby is totally jealous because I think Ajax likes her more than him.

We hung out with Brittney and her mister this past weekend and I think they want to steal the little guy. 

My parents sailed off on a Royal Caribbean cruise this past weekend also! 

Man I wish I was with them. I need a tan and some good ol' sunshine! 

Hopefully they bring me back something from Cozumel!

Photo Challenge Day 15- A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Scuba Dive.

This picture was taken in Thailand, but I could easily do it in Australia or Hawaii too!

Photo Challenge Day 16- A picture of someone who inspires you.

I'm glad I found this. It's of my Mom and Granny.

My Mom inspires me everyday to be a better person, and my Granny is such a great crafter she inspires me by wanting to take on more projects and hobbies. She's also a wonderful cook and I really wish I had acquired that because my mom and sister both got it!

Photo Challenge Day 17- A photo of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

 This little guy is pretty much the only thing drastic that's happened to us. 

He sure is a handful though. We're having problems with him thinking he's the big man of the house. 

Growling and biting. We might have to take him to obedience classes.

Photo Challenge Day Day 18- A picture of your biggest insecurity.

My butt. 

It definitely needs to be more toned than it is. Now when I say toned I don't mean getting rid of cellulite, I mean getting MUSCLE! I physically have no booty. It is so small compared to my 5'9'' build. 

Lets get in gear with the lunges and booty squats!

Photo Challenge Day 19- A picture of you when you were little.

Dawww. Isn't that a cute wittle baby?

Photo Challenge Day 20-  A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel to.

I'd love to visit Germany.

I speak a little of the language too, so that always is useful!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Overwhelmed and hurt.

These doctors appointments have REALLY caught up to me.

I have been putting off blogging about this but there is just so many emotions still built up within me I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I guess no one can really say what's right and wrong in this world, some just have different ways of dealing with emotions and my way just happens to be getting it out on paper (or in this case a blog) that way I feel at ease. 

A lot of people go through the joy and excitement with their spouse upon finding out they're pregnant and knowing that you both are going to be parents in the next coming months.

I didn't get that feeling before it was taken away from me. I had a miscarriage. 

If you've read my previous posts you know my husband and I were trying for a baby and I was seeing a GYN for that to see what was wrong with my cycle and she wouldn't give me my Papsmear because some women's cycles are just irregular and we were "too young" to have children.

Before having my miscarriage, I had been having what I thought was a 3 week period starting on January 9th.

The night of my miscarriage I found out it was definitely not my period, it was something much more serious, and when it happened I went to the hospital and what came out of me in hand. I thought it might have been a cyst come out.

They had me do a urine test first and determined I was definitely pregnant but wanted to see if I had lost the baby. They did a sonogram and I had. They did not have to do a DNC because I had passed most of it on my own, but over the next week I would pass the rest. From my periods being so irregular and me trying to miscarry for so long they couldn't tell how far along I was, but by me telling them when my husband left for California they we're able to say about 6 weeks range of conception.

I was scheduled for a follow up to make sure my hormone levels went down, discharged and sent home.

All the while my husband is in California in school. 

He doesn't know we're pregnant and we definitely were trying. I'm about to have to tell him we "were" pregnant, but we lost it all in one phone call.

Now my husband is not very good with emotions. He was taught while growing up to comfort the woman and never show his weak side.

Once I tell him he says, "We will deal with this when I get back, just stay calm. Everything will be ok and we will get through this and figure out how to get you healthy."

Of course my hormones are EVERYWHERE so I'm bawling on the phone wanting him home that very minute not being a very supportive wife. 

I get my act together though and make it through that final week and he comes home. 

I pick him up from the airport and it's so emotional. I want to be ecstatic to see him and jump in his arms, but at the same time I want to run to him and curl up in his shoulder and cry. 

Once we're home I see the emotion come through my husband. He's devastated but doesn't show it the way I do. I have crying spells throughout the day (probably from the hormones and sadness) but I can hear sadness in his voice. I know he was upset about the baby, but he told me "When are you going to get over this sweetie? I don't like seeing you upset and crying all the time."

Now of course that made me mad too because it seemed like he just wanted me to get over it and move on, but he reassured me that's not it, he just wants to move forward, not necessarily forget. 

 I'm slowly getting there. It's been about 4 weeks since it happened. 

I think about it, but I don't dwell on it.

When they had me go to all my check ups to make sure my hormones were dropping I was scheduled for one every week for 3 weeks, and then the last one I requested they check all my blood counts and levels. When they did they found out I was vitamin B12 deficient and they put me on the injection. I will have to be on it for 6 months and starting out you do it everyday so I chose to self-inject.

My husband is concerned my health had something to do with us maybe losing the baby because my diet plan is non existent and I obviously lacked B12 as well. Once I get on the right track toward getting healthy and staying healthy we're going to try again.

I know everything happens for a reason and God is working in mine and my husband's lives.

It still doesn't ease the pain. I know many people have had several while trying and I can't even imagine the pain they feel. But then again they're are women who haven't had any and think it's no big deal. I can reassure those women it is DEFINITELY a big deal and we are hurting inside. A part of us was lost no matter how far along in the pregnancy you were, regardless of whether you knew or didn't know your were.

To those that have miscarried, I am truly sorry for your loss as I know now how it feels to lose something so special.