Things in my life right now seem to be all over the place and I can't seem to get them together.
I know I posted about my Papaw being ill in an earlier post, but things have taken a turn for the worse. I am so glad I went home when I did because now he's in Hospice. He took a major fall and fractured his hip. Upon going to the hospital they found pneumonia. They found some stuff in his lungs awhile back and they did a biopsy on it not too long ago, but it came back malignant then.
Now they are telling my mom that they think he is terminally ill, and that it might actually be cancer after all. I got to talk to him very briefly on the phone the other day and told him I loved him and missed him so much. He seemed very disoriented and it took everything in me not to burst into tears and upset him. I asked him if it would be ok if we named our son (Oh yeah, It's a Boy! Things have been so crazy I forgot to mention that. I'll write a post later) after him. He didn't say anything, at first, I'm assuming because of all the meds he's on it's hard to comprehend people, but after awhile he said he'd like that a lot.
I wanted to take my Papaw's middle name, which is Darrell, and use it as the baby's middle name.
I'm still running that by my husband.
Anyway, I'm worried about my mom and how much stress this is causing her. She keeps telling me everything is fine, but I know she's just trying to keep my stress level down for mine and the baby's health.
A ticket to go back home would cost me $800, I'm assuming because of the Holidays, and my husband won't let me drive 26 hours alone.
I know everyone has gone through what I'm feeling, not thinking you spent enough time with someone or didn't let them know how much you cared. I told him every time I saw him how much he meant to me, but I just don't think it's enough.
I would really appreciate it if you could just take a second to pray for my family and Papaw.