Thursday, October 27, 2011

I've been meaning to write more about my pregnancy, so here we go. 
As of now I'm 20 weeks along. We found out at 17 weeks that our little bundle of joy is a HE.
 You can imagine the excitement my husband was feeling. Lol. Everything is going great. He's measuring right along schedule and looks to be very healthy.
 We are naming him after his great grandpa like I had stated in my last post, so his name will be Tristan Darrell.

 Here he is showing us his boy parts. :)
Waving to mommy and daddy. :)
It finally has started to sink in and feel real. I never knew I could love something this much and I haven't even met him yet. Just shows you the power of love is stronger than anything.
 God has truly blessed us with an amazing gift and I thank Him every day for blessing us with Tristan.

I'm finally getting to the stage where I look pregnant! I'm very excited to show off my bump!
I really wanted a pair of skinny maternity jeans for this winter, but didn't want to pay a fortune, so I found a tutorial on a blog about how to turn pre-pregnancy jeans into maternity jeans. 
I just finished them today and they are going to work great, and best of all, didn't cost me a thing. I used a pair of old jeans and a really small cami that doesn't fit me anymore.

Aren't they cute!

I'm also planning on making the bedding for our nursery myself. I want to incorporate some of his daddy's old uniforms and thought it would be a lot more personal and full of love!
This pregnancy seems to be flying by. Between doctor's appointments, crafting, and just staying busy in general, it has gone by so fast I didn't even realize it! 
We're just ready to hold our little boy in our arms and add one more addition to our growing family.

I hate to be such a Debbie Downer on my own post, but I didn't want to start off with bad news.
On my last post I talked about how my Papaw was very sick and in the hospital. They sent him to hospice and he passed away last Thursday. It's been hard dealing with that and pregnancy hormones. One minute I'm fine, but then I see something that reminds me of him and I lose it again. I'm so glad I got to see him earlier this year, and I talked to him on the phone twice while he was in the hospital.
He was cremated, so the day after he passed was the day of the viewing, there wasn't a funeral.
I couldn't have gone to Texas on that short of notice and I feel horrible because neither my sister, brother or I were there for my mom. I know she needed us there for support, and I guess I'm beating myself up over that.
Before he passed away I did get to tell him his great grandson would be carrying on his name, and he was overjoyed. I'm glad my husband was on board with it.
Every time I see my little Tristan I will think of all the memories I shared with my Papaw.


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Keep moving forward...

Things in my life right now seem to be all over the place and I can't seem to get them together.
I know I posted about my Papaw being ill in an earlier post, but things have taken a turn for the worse. I am so glad I went home when I did because now he's in Hospice. He took a major fall and fractured his hip. Upon going to the hospital they found pneumonia. They found some stuff in his lungs awhile back and they did a biopsy on it not too long ago, but it came back malignant then.

Now they are telling my mom that they think he is terminally ill, and that it might actually be cancer after all. I got to talk to him very briefly on the phone the other day and told him I loved him and missed him so much. He seemed very disoriented and it took everything in me not to burst into tears and upset him. I asked him if it would be ok if we named our son (Oh yeah, It's a Boy! Things have been so crazy I forgot to mention that. I'll write a post later) after him. He didn't say anything, at first, I'm assuming because of all the meds he's on it's hard to comprehend people, but after awhile he said he'd like that a lot.
I wanted to take my Papaw's middle name, which is Darrell, and use it as the baby's middle name.
I'm still running that by my husband. 

Anyway, I'm worried about my mom and how much stress this is causing her. She keeps telling me everything is fine, but I know she's just trying to keep my stress level down for mine and the baby's health. 
A ticket to go back home would cost me $800, I'm assuming because of the Holidays, and my husband won't let me drive 26 hours alone.
I know everyone has gone through what I'm feeling, not thinking you spent enough time with someone or didn't let them know how much you cared. I told him every time I saw him how much he meant to me, but I just don't think it's enough. 

I would really appreciate it if you could just take a second to pray for my family and Papaw.
Thanks everyone.